The war on men

By . November 26, 2012.

The battle of the sexes is alive and well. According to Pew Research Center, the  share of women ages eighteen to thirty-four that say having a successful  marriage is one of the most important things in their lives rose nine percentage  points since 1997 – from 28 percent to 37 percent. For men, the opposite  occurred. The share voicing this opinion dropped, from 35 percent to 29 percent.


Believe it or not, modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men  don’t.

The so-called dearth of good men (read: marriageable men) has been a hot  subject in the media as of late. Much of the coverage has been in response to  the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of  the U.S. workforce. They’re also getting most of the college degrees. The  problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women. 

But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes,  is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?

As the author of three books on the American family and its intersection with  pop culture, I’ve spent thirteen years examining social agendas as they pertain  to sex, parenting, and gender roles. During this time, I’ve spoken with  hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I’ve accidentally  stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that  they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the  same.

   "What if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is — hold on to your seats — women's fault?" wonders Suzanne Venker at Fox News.

“What if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is — hold on to your seats — women’s fault?” wonders Suzanne Venker at Fox News. Photo: CC BY: thisgeekredes

Women aren’t women anymore.

To say gender relations have changed dramatically is an understatement. Ever  since the sexual revolution, there has been a profound overhaul in the way men  and women interact. Men haven’t changed much – they had no revolution that  demanded it – but women have changed dramatically.

In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often  unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy.  Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had  their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to  take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs.

Now the men have nowhere to go.

It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the  relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love  goes awry. Heck, men have been to blame since feminists first took to the  streets in the 1970s.

But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?

You’ll never hear that in the media. All the articles and books (and  television programs, for that matter) put women front and center, while men and  children sit in the back seat. But after decades of browbeating the American  male, men are tired. Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong  with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.

Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say,  the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It  has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of  someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They  want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern  women won’t let them.

It’s all so unfortunate – for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well:  they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no  responsibilities whatsoever.

It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of  sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact  is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at  the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.

So if men today are slackers, and if they’re retreating from marriage en  masse, women should look in the mirror and ask themselves what role they’ve  played to bring about this transformation.

Fortunately, there is good news: women have the power to turn everything  around. All they have to do is surrender to their nature – their femininity – and let men surrender to theirs.

If they do, marriageable men will come out of the woodwork.


Suzanne Venker has written extensively about politics, parenting, and the  influence of feminism on American society. Her latest book, “How to Choose a  Husband (And Make Peace with Marriage)” will be published in February 2013.  Visit for  more information.


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